From The Annals of Bulge Bracket Career Websites: Brock from Lehman Brothers!

Brock.jpg

Name: Brock
Position: Associate; Investment Banking
Education: Northwestern University; University of Chicago

What I do:

"As an Associate in our Global Technology Group, I help cover a very dynamic industry. Our clients span a broad spectrum of industries...We help our clients achieve their objectives via capital markets transactions, or by providing financial or strategic advice."

Dealbreaker translation:

"I make a lot of pitchbooks, and when they are done, I check them for spelling errors and to be sure that the page numbers are correct. Then I get to bind them! Sometimes I bind them with big plastic spirals. Sometimes I staple them together. Othertimes I fasten them with clips. I also furrow my brow a lot."

What I enjoy about my job:

"The companies in the technology sector are both converging and diverging simultaneously. I need to stay on top of the economic and strategic developments of a broad spectrum of companies. It is extremely challenging, but the pace is exciting."

Dealbreaker translation:

"I don't know if I mentioned this, but I get $25 a night for dinner. On weekends that adds up to $75 for three meals. Oh yeah, I hit up all the big delivery joints in midtown. Mangia? The know me. Haru? Sure. Every now and again, when I'm feeling a little crazy, I'll get the boys together, head over to Smith and Wollensky, and just go wild! Cabernet Sauvignon by the glass? Damn son, I told you I was loco!"

Why I chose Lehman Brothers:

"I have actually chosen to work here twice, first as an Analyst after college and now as an Associate post-graduate school. Both times it was for the same reasons - the culture and the creativity..."

Dealbreaker translation:

"My father sails with the head of M&A, and in this life we take what we can get."

The most exciting project I have worked on:

"I am currently working on a potential initial public offering (IPO) of a company that is simultaneously contemplating a merger with a division of a foreign company controlled by a financial sponsor...It is incredibly exciting!"

Dealbreaker translation:

"I've been working on an ongoing transaction with one client called The West Garden Spa. I know better than anyone that Asia is where the future lies, and I can't imagine a better place to bone up on my Korean while also boning up generally. I've done this transaction perhaps twenty times now, and have come away totally reinvigorated each time."

Lehman Brothers Careers Website

Comments

Posted by ha?, Mar 30, 2006 4:56PM

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. How long will it be before this url is blocked by all major banks

Posted by LOL, Mar 30, 2006 5:09PM

Thank god, my ib doesn't have a facebook.
Whew.

Posted by Nada, Mar 30, 2006 5:42PM

It already is blocked from JPMChase...

Posted by Blueman, Mar 30, 2006 6:40PM

this site is a joke.

Posted by Bulging Bracket, Mar 31, 2006 12:24AM

I'm loving it! I love this blog if only for highlighting the extreme levels of BS on the sites.

Posted by Cozmo, Mar 31, 2006 8:40AM

Cabernet Sauvignon by the glass? Damn son, I told you I was loco!"

Get between Brock & his Cab, and he'll cut your ass, Ese!

Posted by Cozmo, Mar 31, 2006 8:41AM

"this site is a joke."

...says Brock.

Posted by 9000, Mar 31, 2006 10:12AM

wow, i read like the same ib jokes in my undergrad news rag 15 years ago. looking forward to your review of liar's poker.

Posted by Sweet, Mar 31, 2006 4:35PM

Ahh, the west garden...headed there right now.

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