This Feels Wrong

Posted by BSD, Jan 31, 2008 5:10PM

From what I heard UBS IB bonuses were up this year.

Posted by , Jan 31, 2008 5:11PM

Could be that you were raped and didn't know it. And that's why he was chipper.

Posted by Anal_yst, Jan 31, 2008 5:14PM

You did mention they brought a "therapist" in today, I could see if her prior work experience includes posts at esteemed institutions of counselling such as Scores, Penthouse Executive Club, etc, how the "friends o' the SS" (great line btw) were "chipper as could be" today...

Posted by , Jan 31, 2008 5:17PM

Probably have enough cash to pay those remaining nazis with the money they saved firing their CMBS team

Posted by Gary Dunton, Jan 31, 2008 5:22PM

Just in case you weren't able to listen to our call today, there is not even the remotest chance that we will be downgraded. Really.

Posted by Enabler, Jan 31, 2008 5:22PM

I pooped in the men's room sink.

Posted by 1-2, Jan 31, 2008 5:32PM

There were ICE SCULPTURES??

Posted by , Jan 31, 2008 5:46PM

It's not Friday yet. I haven't sat down in the Oval Office ALL WEEK! I'm also taking in as much fiber as I can. When I get to work tomorrow: thar she blows!

Posted by , Jan 31, 2008 5:47PM

Yep, calm smugness. I got paid 25k bonus as yst 1r s&t analyst. How about *them* apples?

Posted by , Jan 31, 2008 5:53PM

I pooped in the sink and washed my hands in the toilet.

Posted by , Jan 31, 2008 6:01PM

I was so pissed that I didn't bother to decimal align the numbers in my comps table going out to a client.

Posted by , Jan 31, 2008 6:06PM

nazi sympathizers

Posted by , Jan 31, 2008 6:07PM

nazi sympathizers

Posted by , Jan 31, 2008 6:09PM

nazi sympathizers

Posted by , Jan 31, 2008 6:13PM

Ron Paul sympathizers

Posted by , Jan 31, 2008 6:21PM

Ron Paul sympathizers

Posted by 1-2, Jan 31, 2008 6:22PM

@5:47 - try 10k as a first year...how do you like DEM APPLES!

Posted by , Jan 31, 2008 6:34PM

@6:22 at ubs? non-stub?

Posted by , Jan 31, 2008 6:37PM

@1-2, How much were you expecting July 4th? How much were you expecting at New Years?

How many hours did you work in 07?

How much was that per hour? In hindsight was it worth it?

Posted by 1-2, Jan 31, 2008 6:38PM

@5:47 - try 10k as a first year (not this year)...how do you like DEM APPLES!

Posted by 1-2, Jan 31, 2008 6:41PM

@6:37 - it was pro-rata for 6mo. Bonuses were super low that year. Also, not in IBK, but which group I can't say. Just know i'm an investment professional, not back office or something else bs.

legit job - shit pay

@everyone - sorry bout the double-post. not sure what's up with that.

Posted by , Jan 31, 2008 6:45PM

I am going to poop in the urinal.

Posted by , Jan 31, 2008 6:46PM

Is there a limit to the number of times we can vote for Ron Paul?

Posted by , Jan 31, 2008 6:51PM

@1-2, ouch, sorry bro... was it restricted paper also? so in reality just base?

Posted by , Jan 31, 2008 6:53PM

nazi sympathizers

Posted by Paul Ron, Jan 31, 2008 6:58PM

@6:46 - Vote as many times as you can and pay poor people to vote for him as well.

Posted by 1-2, Jan 31, 2008 7:02PM

That was last year (2006). It's all gravy on my end this year. Big jump in base actually.

Thanks for the brotherly love though.

Posted by RonP, Jan 31, 2008 7:39PM

I voted 12 times for Ron Paul , thus he now has 2% of the vote

Posted by without U its just BS, Jan 31, 2008 7:41PM

Cash bonus was fine, but we didn't get to take a 'Nazi-appropriated' painting from the vault in the basement like they have in previous years.

Posted by slimed, Jan 31, 2008 8:59PM

How did the md's and above do? Did they make any distinction betw global and US? or was everyone punished?

Posted by johnny sack, Jan 31, 2008 9:53PM

If Chuck Norris voted for Ron Paul, he'd win the election

Posted by Rudderless Ship on 11, Jan 31, 2008 11:33PM

plenty of goose eggs were passed out to people who were not the cause for blame for the amount of risk we took on. plenty of ubs peeps still waiting for the full story as to what was going on.

Posted by slimed, Jan 31, 2008 11:53PM

forgive me...i don't work in the finance industry but have been rivetted by the "story" of it all. How do these men and women, used to making 4 -6 million $ a year or more, sustain their lifestyles? and their stock awards from years past??? are any of them worth anything? can the strike price be rolled back on an individual's award so they can make at least something for the year?

Posted by Fed Up with RP BS, Jan 31, 2008 11:58PM

I mean it. I'm sick of these posts.

Posted by Ron Pizualllll, Feb 01, 2008 12:31AM

@ 11:58 I am sick and tired of the nation building!

Posted by Ron Pizualllll, Feb 01, 2008 12:32AM

And I am sick of the RP haters...and sick of the MHL posts. I mean it!

Posted by , Feb 01, 2008 12:35AM

a stock award doesnt have a strike price. You get a fixed number of shares, that will be yours to keep ("vest") typically three years from today. The idea is that if the value of the firm grows over that period, so will the value of the reward. One downside is that you need to hang around till it vests, so its therefore considered a retention tool by the firm and a jail sentence by the employee. Certainly less preferable to having a cash bonus in your hand today.

Posted by chris, Feb 01, 2008 7:39AM

To 1-2:
"legit job - shit pay". You lost me. None of Dealbreaker's readers' jobs make the world a better place (mine's to make really rich people more really rich) so the only legitimacy we have is our pay check.

Posted by vote for Huckabee, Feb 01, 2008 8:15AM

I am anti-ron paul crazy supporters, pro-MHL platform. Also I would nominate Bess to the SCOTUS.

Give a fuck? Vote for Huck.

Posted by anotherguy, Feb 01, 2008 5:01PM

Yeah! I like Bess for SCOTUS, too.