Rethinking What You Wear While Taking Care Of Business

The above is a clip from Fox Business on which clothing trends don't work at the office. I disagree with all of them.

#1 FBN SAYS: Don't Overaccessorize because too much jewelry can make too much noise and just make you look plain silly. Wrong because: too few investment bankers dress like Mr. T these days. You see it at the hedge funds, because they're a little more, you know, out there, but not enough at the banks. Also, it's nice to announce yourself via jingle jangle instead of the vanilla, "Here I come."

#2 FBN SAYS: Don't Wear Leggings. Don't really say why, just that you should "go old-fashioned with tights or hose." I beg to differ but not for the reason you would think, which is that leggings are stupid, but because, as stated previously, I fully believe the fastest way to get to the top is no pants at all. If it's good enough for Leon Cooperman, it's good enough for you.

#3 FBN SAYS: Be Judicious About Your Shoes "Comfort is key, heels that are too high make you look like a skank blah blah blah." I call bullshit because: Hedge funds (and other financial institutions but for this particular example, HFs) are a dog eat dog world. It is a well known fact that Adam Sender first made a name not by savvy stockpicking, but by wearing KISS boots in the office, and spitting blood. Not only was it kick ass, it also added 13 inches to his height, putting him just under 6 feet.

Earlier: Getting You Promoted, One Pair Of Assless Chaps At A Time (Provided You Work For Larry Robbins)

Comments

Posted by Cpt. Obvious, Feb 12, 2008 2:10PM

Fox Business: Business news for people too stupid to be in business.

Posted by Ruppie Murduck, Feb 12, 2008 2:32PM

Can someone post the clip of Happy Hour a few days ago (Mardi Gras perhaps?) in which the female host was dressed as if she was going in a conga line? I ain't makin' this up! I'm surprised it hasn't been posted yet. Then again, only four or five people are apparently watching that show.

Posted by Ruppie Murduck, Feb 12, 2008 2:41PM

I also forgot to mention that I believe her headwear contained a piece of fruit...

Posted by JP, Feb 12, 2008 2:58PM

Would a codpiece be acceptable on the trading floor?

Posted by I'm a dude, Feb 12, 2008 3:01PM

i missed the cooperman line. whats that all about?

Posted by , Feb 12, 2008 3:03PM

@ I'm a dude: it's called a joke.

Posted by Yo!, Feb 12, 2008 3:04PM

Not going to actually watch this clip, but the woman with the microphone looks like she's wearing houseplant camouflage. Look at her and that plant - where does one start and the other begin? And that guy is clearly Pee Wee Herman.

Posted by Ted, Feb 12, 2008 3:17PM

That woman is Erin Burnett's wardrobe advisor.

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