Who Is The Biggest Asshole On Wall Street?

The Biggest Assholes On Wall Street.jpg

Wall Street is notoriously a place populated by masters of the universe, big swinging dicks, movers and shakers, ballers and Men Who Make The World Work. Perhaps even more famously, it’s populated by people who believe that they can be fairly described in these terms, folks with egos scaled to match their bank accounts. It’s hardly uncharitable to notice that quite a few of these people can also be fairly described as “assholes.”

In fact, the list of Wall Street assholes is too long for anyone. We need to narrow it down to a list of the top ranks, the biggest assholes on Wall Street. We’re busy evaluating candidates here in the DealBreaker HQ Bunker, putting them up on cork boards like the FBI assembling a mafia management structure. But one of the glories of these here internets is that the communication goes both ways—from the Bunker to the Street, and from the Street to the Bunker. Starting this morning we’re taking your nominations for the first official DealBreaker list of the Biggest Assholes On Wall Street.

Send your nominations to tips@Dealbreaker.com or nominate someone in the comments section. A helpful explanation for why the nominee deserves to be ranked among Wall Street’s Bigs is appreciated. Extra credit will be award for first hand accounts of assholery.

Comments

Posted by John Gutfreund, Feb 12, 2008 11:44AM

I'm still an asshole.

Posted by Paulson, Feb 12, 2008 11:49AM

I am still THE asshole. Take that you ass-wannabees!

Posted by Timmay, Feb 12, 2008 11:53AM

No Cramer yet? Geez...

Posted by Strand, Feb 12, 2008 11:53AM

abby cohen, literally

Posted by , Feb 12, 2008 11:56AM

ann duignan

Posted by , Feb 12, 2008 11:56AM

@11:53 You clearly have never met Abby. She's amazing on many counts. Also a rabid Mets fan. Could that be the problem for you??

Posted by Bid 'em up Bruce Wasserstein, Feb 12, 2008 12:06PM

Me too. Still an asshole.

Posted by , Feb 12, 2008 12:08PM

why would someone call Ann Duignan an asshole?

Posted by , Feb 12, 2008 12:10PM

Tim Sykes.

I know there are people who are bigger assholes but at least they have something to be cocky about. I have never heard someone make a bigger fuss about making $2mm or his tiny hedge fund failing. There may be bigger a-holes but nobody does more with so much less than Timmay.

Posted by Patrick Bateman, Feb 12, 2008 12:11PM

Why don't you get a job?

Posted by , Feb 12, 2008 12:11PM

Ben Aitkenhead at C.S. because he fired me. I guess that won't win the award though.

Posted by , Feb 12, 2008 12:15PM

Zach Michaelson

I knew him when he was in high school....he was always challenging people to bench pressing contests and telling everyone at every possible opportunity how he was going to Wharton

Posted by Anonymous, Feb 12, 2008 12:18PM

At last a list I know I'm not on, and one to look forward to a child looks forward to Christmas! Thank you, dealbreaker.

Posted by Anonymous, Feb 12, 2008 12:20PM

that should be "and one to look forward to as a child looks forward to Christmas!

Posted by Anonymous, Feb 12, 2008 12:21PM

that should be "and one to look forward to as a child looks forward to Christmas!"

Posted by Anonymous, Feb 12, 2008 12:22PM

that should be "and one to look forward to as a child looks forward to Christmas!"

Posted by , Feb 12, 2008 12:25PM

John Carney

Posted by anonymous, Feb 12, 2008 12:25PM

Triple posting a mistake. Server acting funny. Sorry.

Posted by Charlie Gasparino, Feb 12, 2008 12:29PM

I am an asshole, because I can't stop obsessing over how much of an Italian Stallion I am, and I don't show nearly enough appreciation for the DB crew

Posted by bess is fat, Feb 12, 2008 12:32PM

JF Page

Posted by John Carney, Feb 12, 2008 12:32PM

@12:25: I can't believe it took you that long to name me. Sadly, DealBreaker employees and immediate family members may not participate.

Posted by The Observer, Feb 12, 2008 12:32PM

Some on Wall Street will cherish the pronouncement of being the biggest asshole on Wall Street and they will take your screed and frame it in their office.

Posted by Nominate me, Feb 12, 2008 12:41PM

Gasparino will undoubtedly pin it to his headboard.

Posted by E. V., Feb 12, 2008 1:01PM

Clearly no one seems to have the b's to rat out their BSD colleagues as our identities are indelibly preserved on our companies' servers. i don't have any b's to begin with (being another *girl*) I'll throw my hat in the ring for a certain former CSFB guy. His initials are J.M. (not the obvious.) he looked exactly like elmer fudd but redder and had a voice like kermit the frog. It was too easy to call him a d**khead, because his ugly bald head was actually shaped like a penis.

We used to have white glove lunch service in our building back in the day, and this individual (who was of scottish descent) fed on a steady diet of hand-delivered cheese and jelly sandwiches on white bread. I'd have to sit through meetings while his teeth smacked white gooey dough and purple blobs would fall all over the pitchbooks.

At least he didn't hit on me or my female colleagues...because he only liked jamaican ladies, namely his assistant. In addition to her he had another jamaican girlfriend who would show up when JL1 was out of the country, as well as a wife in the UK. This was back when the concorde was still around, which he used as his own personal commuting plane.

All this is more quirky than asshole, sure - but of course in addition to this he decimated my business group and did nothing while clients walked out the door until he decided to leave and start his own fund...all your garden variety asshole stuff.

Posted by Stephen Schwarzman, Feb 12, 2008 1:02PM

No list would be complete without him.

Posted by Anal_yst, Feb 12, 2008 1:19PM

So many people are worthy of this list, butt in the interest of playing it safe, I'll throw the Merril HR staff up there, yea what the hell, the whole bunch

Posted by , Feb 12, 2008 1:30PM

Todd Fruhbeis

Posted by investorcluzo, Feb 12, 2008 1:32PM

@anal_yst - c'mon, hr? are you kidding. the only hr folks I know are a bunch of young vixens that are out for a good time. you must be confusing the messenger with the message. the poor hr folks have to carry out the edicts from the exec offices. perhaps your animosity is misplaced? then again, I know the good ladies from the old dlj days (yeah, I'm that old)...

Posted by , Feb 12, 2008 1:34PM

HR at many of the HF's are a complete waste of space. Isn't easy dealing with them (as a headhunter)

Posted by , Feb 12, 2008 1:45PM

Come on.... HR at at hedge is there to administer benefits, make sure people get paid, see that when they're fired its done in a way that keeps the firm out fo court. Except for admin staff, the hire/fire decisions are made elsewhere in the firm.

Oh yeah, and another important role of HR is to shield the important people from distractions like taking calls from headhunters trying to do job placements.

Posted by , Feb 12, 2008 1:49PM

Actually we work closely with HR and the PM's at the funds. Often times have dedicated HR/internal recruiters that meet and really suss out candidates before hand - then they will meet partners, more sr. investment people.

Posted by , Feb 12, 2008 1:54PM

I'm with anal_lyst. I remember a late fall 2001 meeting when the Merrill HR folk told relocated people who were commuting over two hours each way to Princeton that they were had better get to to work on time OR ELSE. Then they accused people of attending too many memorial services. I think a lot of people agreed that they were attending too many memorial services, but the implication that they were slacking off work was not appreciated. I think the guy's name was Peter Stingy.

Really, Merrill HR was exceptionally asshole-y.

Posted by Associate__, Feb 12, 2008 2:26PM

I double anal_yst. Merrill HR has lots of A.H. In business side too. If you are MD or above chances are high..

Posted by BadlyTreated, Feb 12, 2008 2:27PM

Leon Cooperman and his hystronics and his rather fat penchant for humiliating others in front of other people.

Posted by Dealbook's Andrew Ross Sorkin, Feb 12, 2008 2:28PM

Count me in.

Posted by , Feb 12, 2008 2:30PM

Steve Einhorn for that matter?

Posted by Joey, Feb 12, 2008 2:32PM

I vote Tim Sykes, wait, are we talking biggest douche or asshole. whats the difference?

Posted by Tortured By Genius, Feb 12, 2008 2:34PM

Soros for writing books that are uncomprehensible and everyone pretending to know what he means.

Taleb for the most obnoxious intellectual snobbery

Posted by hug o. chavz, Feb 12, 2008 2:37PM

ken lewis for (a) pretending to be an investment banker, (b) not being licensed to go on investment banking pitches (that's right, no series 7), and (c) not even being on wall street.

Posted by JM, Feb 12, 2008 2:45PM

Rob Toher at Bear Stearns - Such an asshole is so rare to find outside of captivity. Imagine Colonel Cathcart from Catch-22, Zuul and a construction worker off an 8-day ether binge all rolled into one.

Posted by Bhavna Vashisht, Feb 12, 2008 3:44PM

I work at Bear Stearns and I am a big ass hole

Posted by Big Papi, Feb 12, 2008 3:45PM

anyone named to the top 30 under 30 has to be considered

Posted by sledgehammer, Feb 12, 2008 3:53PM

Bear does bring out the asshole in people but that guy mentioned above is the real thing.

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