You know you want it.We're bringing this back for the third day running. That's right, you have yet another chance to take a moment to tell us a bit about yourself. You can even leave a comment in the reader survey to tell us what you really think!

And, yes, by popular demand, we've made Holly Valance the official mascot of the DealBreaker reader survey.

Click right here for the reader survey. Thanks!

You know you want it. You're sitting around watching the emails pour into your mailbox, listening to the guys at CNBC blather on about the Dow trading near a record high and looking for online games to play.

We've got a much better way to procrastinate. Tell DealBreaker how hot you are by filling out our reader survey. All the links in this post point to it, so you cannot go wrong.

[Editor's note: The picture to the left of Prison Break's Holly Valance represents, uhm, something to do with the survey. Who really cares?]

Have you checked out one of our niftiest new features, the DealBreaker Forums? Over to your left you'll find a link to the place where DealBreakers, DealMakers and DealShakers go to post about whatever is on their mind. Go check it out. It's the reader controlled area of your favorite website--where you call the shots.

One recent discussion was sparked by someone using the handle "Black Capitalist" asking how he could get work at a hedge fund. Our favorite answer so far came from reader PinstripePikey: "The way I did it was to get a degree in the geekiest subject known to man, particle physics, and then take aim at the quant-driven funds. Not sure this is for everyone though."

String Theory is the new Black-Scholes.

What's the best way to break into hedge funds? [DealBreaker Forums]

As everyone knows, the most miserable people on any deal are not the analysts. They're not the interns. They're not even the people who bind and clip 1,289 ever-expanding pitchbooks that no one will read.

The most miserable people on any deal are the lawyers. (DealBreaker editor/ex-M&A lawyer John Carney will confirm.) And mostly because they're almost powerless. As the joke goes, an analyst at Morgan Stanley can get a partner at Cravath out of bed at 4 AM, but the reverse can't happen. So while the poor lawyers are sitting around waiting for the bankers to make decisions, we made something for them to read. A DealBreaker for lawyers, if you will.

Introducing... our new legal tabloid, AboveTheLaw.com. AboveTheLaw is written by David Lat, a former lawyer (natch) and most recently, editor at Wonkette.com and founder of Underneath Their Robes. (More on David's background in this New Yorker profile.)

ABOVE THE LAW

Like most New Yorkers in the grip of a slowly deflating housing bubble, we're all about gratuitous renovations. If it ain't broke, then make it even more not broken. So in addition to the more reader-friendly increased column width, we've added a few new toys features to the site. A sampling:

· The Forum. If there's not enough to do in the comments section, you can now start your own discussions completely independent of our 12-15 daily chunks of commentary, news and Jeffrey Epstein updates. (Registration can be anonymous.) Why work on comps for an improbable LBO if you can debate NewKeynesian666 on whether $50 bills burn better than c-notes? We're just saying. To register, click HERE

Naturally, we reserve the right to indulge our god complexes and delete your posts (or ban users) for any reason whatsoever, including but not limited to: we thought the post was off-topic, the post was promoting Internet Viagra, or we were bored and deleting users is MUAHAHAHA ... fun. That said, we're extremely lazy totalitarians and aren't inclined to delete anything unless extremely provoked. Or bored.

· Email this and most emailed. Good for sending Bess Levin's Planespottings to their subjects and spamming your friends with viral intern emails and barely-safe-for-work Write-Off links.

· Recent comments. Now you don't have to click repeatedly on the same posts because you can't remember how many comments were there a few hours ago. DealBreaker.com: Encouraging Your Laziness Every Step of the Way™

Of course, a few things were sadly lost in our redesign. Our status as The Website With The Biggest Logo on The Internet, for example. Goodbye, Big Swinging DealBreaker logo.

Also: We're debugging, so if anything looks weird or isn't showing up correctly in your browser, let us know. Tips AT Dealbreaker DOT com.

We're sorry. Our Zurich gnomes went on strike this morning and killed all our posts. We've beaten them back into submission. Content is returning as soon as possible.

There will be no posting on DealBreaker on Monday, the 29th. The market is closed for Memorial Day and so are we. We'll be back on Tuesday with the usual assortment of planestalking posts, commentary on the sex lives of investment bankers, and Vonage-IPO-bashing (gratuitous and deserved).

The most anti-climactic email we've gotten all day (from a National Magazine Awards attendee): The subject line said "Bruce Wasserstein has GIANT..." We clicked. "EARS!!" Thanks, emailer.

Also, just a reminder: We're looking for interns. Ex-Morgan broker trainees are welcome to apply. Send résumés and cover letters to elizabeth AT dealbreaker DOT com.

We realize that most of you have jobs at financial services companies (68% of you, to be exact) but for the rest of you**: we're looking for summer editorial interns to do some writing, reporting, research and a few administrative tasks, like parking the G-V and pouring our drinks (we like our scotch neat and old enough to drink itself.) Ideal candidates have an interest in the business side of blog publishing, are good, funny writers and have a natural penchant for mischief-making.

We're also looking for interns to work on some projects in development. Video editing and graphics skills are a plus.

Send résumés to elizabeth AT dealbreaker dot com.

** We're looking at you, Phillipe Jabre.

So according to our survey, you're not all gay cowboys, as previously thought--which is disappointing, but we'll get over it.

Here's the DealBreaker demographic, if you're curious:
· 82% of you are male.
· 67% of you work in financial services. (5% lawyers, 8% editors/writers...)
· 38% of you make between $100,000 and $249,999 a year. (12% make less than $50,000 a year, 23% make between $50,000 and $99,999, 15% make between $250,000 and $499,999, 12% make $500,000 or more.)
· Several of you love Muffie.
· Several of you hate Muffie.

If our email is any indication, DealBreaker's readership is composed of 3% dead sons of Nigerian dictators offering us business deals, 3% Deustche bankers who love DealBreaker, 3% Deustche bankers who hate DealBreaker, 0.5% business reporters who have stories to link, 6% Goldman employees who knew Gene Plotkin, 12% people who want to sleep with Muffie and 72.5% We're Not Sure. Previously we just assumed the "We're Not Sures" were gay cowboys and have been serving Brokeman Mountain DVD ads as a result. But we could be wrong about that.

So we'd greatly appreciate it if you'd take a few seconds to fill out this (anonymous) survey. At the end, you'll have the opportunity to sign up for our forthcoming newsletter, which includes the day's posts emailed directly to you, and to leave us comments, suggestions and/or hate mail.
Click here to take survey

For the email-a-phobic:

DealBreaker now has a tips line. You can leave us tips/hints/feedback/dirty messages/Gordon Gekko impersonations** on voicemail at:

(212) 625-5326

** Gekko impersonations may be recorded and used against you. Dirty messages will be passed around the office for internal corporate amusement. All other info will be utilized appropriately.

Closed markets make for a bored DealBreaker staff, so today we'll be less "Wall Street gossip" and more "online business tabloid." Whatever that means.

We are apparently Inconsistent With Merrill Lynch Principles: (click to enlarge)

But are we, really? From the Merrill website:
Client Focus? We're fine with that. Respect for the Individual? Generally, sure. Teamwork? Check. Responsible Citizenship? Uh-huh. Integrity?...

Okay, you've got us there.

So we're told that DealBreaker is being blocked at Merrill Lynch and at part of JPMorgan (IB, but not the rest of the bank--someone's a little behind on their systems integration!) Herewith, a helpful chart of major investment banks where you can and cannot read DealBreaker.

Reader: "You left out BofA."

HAHAHAHA.

No, we didn't.

Born and raised in the remarkably Jewy town of Livingston, New Jersey, Bess Levin is best known for starring in her 1997 Bat Mitzvah. Apparently, she attended Amherst College, where she received a first-hand account of the species known as the WASP and its manifold mating practices, ceremonies and rituals. Levin graduated from Amherst in May, and there are two conflicting stories as to how she landed at DealBreaker shortly thereafter. One version has her stalking Elizabeth Spiers for a rather lengthy period of time, during which Levin extolled her coffee-getting/making and photocopying skills to Spiers's great impress. The other is that she was found on the doorstep in a basket with a note pinned to her chest; each may or may not be wholly untrue, except for the part about how good she is with coffee and photocopying. (Ed. She excels at both). Bess often wonders if when the time comes, could she answer that all-important question: if you were an animal, which animal would you be? (She does not know. Yet.)

Bess can be reached at:
bess AT dealbreaker DOT com.

But on the offchance that you're reading from home later:

bOINGbOING's guide to "defeating censorware". An excerpt:

Boing Boing reader Tom Jeziorny says, "I work for a BIG financial services company that apparently uses (not-so-) SmartFilter because BoingBoing has recently become a forbidden site. I use Bloglines as my RSS reader so that I can access the blogs I read from work and home. It turns out that Bloglines is acting as sort of a proxy, since it connects to your RSS feed and not my computer, I'm still able to read BoingBoing at work.

Guide to Defeating Censorware [bOINGbOING.net]

Informal polling has indicated that you want certain things from us. In no particular order, here are some of the requests:

- More about Stevie Cohen (Thanks, Alan!)
- More lampooning of Lou Dobbs ("And tonight... The immigration special. Part 18 in a 40 part series.")
- More gratuitous references to the The West Garden Spa
- Instructions for how to get around the bank's IT department's DealBreaker-blocking program (English-to-English translation in Google)
- Instructions for how to block English-to-English translations of DealBreaker in Google. (Suck it, IT department.)
- Wall Street people sightings
- Items Of Prurient Interest
- More Muffie
- Less Muffie
- A date with Muffie (Thanks, Alan!)
- Bonus numbers
- A castle made of deal toys

What else do you want? Leave suggestions in the comments or email tips AT dealbreaker.com.

It's not official or complete. If you have links to suggest, put them in the comments or send to tips AT dealbreaker DOT com.

Elizabeth Spiers is the founder and publisher of Dead Horse Media, which publishes DealBreaker.com, an online Wall Street tabloid, and AboveTheLaw.com, an online legal tabloid. She was previously the editor-in-chief of mediabistro.com and prior to that, a contributing writer and editor at New York Magazine. She was the founding editor of Gawker.com and was formerly an equity analyst. She is a graduate of Duke University. Her debut novel, And They All Die in the End, will be published by Riverhead in 2007.

You can reach Elizabeth at:
elizabeth AT dealbreaker DOT com.